What american and indian movies teach us.

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball.

4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.

5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.

INDIAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.

2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry, whichever wire you cut you"always choose the right".

3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl
cleans up his wound.

4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.

5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps...

source:facebook

Awesome Answers In IAS Examination

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper).

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"

The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!

Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of  presence of mind.
This is a famous paper written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote the below answer and topped the exam!
OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987, ESSAY QUESTION
Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)
Answer (After 7 blank pages, at the end of the last page…): This is courage

source:facebook

Turn your weaknesses to strengths!!!

This is a story of a 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master.

The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move.
“Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know,” the Sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training. Several months later, the Sensei took the boy to his first tournament.

Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.

Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and Sensei reviewed every move in each and every match.

Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.
“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the Sensei answered. “First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo.

And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.”
The boy’s greatest weakness had become his greatest strength.

Source:facebook

You become what you do every day

You become what you do every day.

For example:
• You smoke everyday, and you become a smoker.
• You drink everyday, and you become an alcoholic.
• You overeat everyday, and you become obese.
• You neglect your health every day, and you become sick.
• You neglect your relationship every day, and it turns sour.
• You spend beyond your limits every day, and you become poor.
• You practice being unhappy every day, and you become depressed.

Likewise:
• You exercise everyday, and you become fit.
• You sing everyday, and you become a singer.
• You run every day, and you become a runner.
• You write everyday, and you become a writer.
• You eat moderately every day, and you maintain healthy weight.
• You think business every day, and you become a businessman.
• You work diligently every day, and become successful in your career.
• You save and make your money grow every day, and you become wealthy.
• You read a little every day, and you become knowledgeable on that subject.
• You spend quality time in your relationship every day, and develop healthy relationships.
• You practice being happy every day, and you become a happy person.
• You strive for spiritual growth every day, and you grow spiritually.

Wherever you are in life, it is likely you did not get there in an instant.
Everything that is part of your life became so because you have been meditating upon it consistently. People who are very good at what they do find a way to consistently do the things they are passionate about without taking long absences from it.

Thus, if there is something that does not serve you that you wish to eliminate from your life, simply find a way to do it infrequently until you completely stop doing it. Conversely, if there is something you want to develop within yourself, find a way to do it every day, and one day it will become a natural part of you.

The day to take charge and create the life you want is thus today!

Source:facebook

Interviewer and Applicant. some humour

Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an airplane.
If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the airplane. You may leave now :@

source:facebook

A Bitter Reality : Written By An Indian Software Engineer

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards.

Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down. Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days.

I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks.

After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the  photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays.

After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part monetary conditions  prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream.

Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ...

The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years.

I had to return to the USA...  My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India...

I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple.

My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India,Had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM. Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it.

I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well  at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'
I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING
IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..
START LIVING IT …….
LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE ……

Source:Facebook

Think out of the Box.. 6 beautiful HR Questions !!!

Here are some of the typical HR questions asked to find out if the candidates have "out of box" thinking capability

Question 1:
"What will you do if I run away with your sister?"
The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you, sir."

Question 2:
Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What if one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant ?
I will be very excited and take a day off, to celebrate with my husband. (Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why should I think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.)

Question 3:
Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived and was kept before the candidate, then he asked "What is before you?"
Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea" and got selected.
(You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before him?.
Answer: The question was "What is before you U? (-alphabet). Reply was "TEA" T (- alphabet).

Question 4:
Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"?
People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mithila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...
But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.
So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 5:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back. *
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again...
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Question 6:
The interviewer asked the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."
Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and said that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked "how did you decide that this is the central point of this table?", then he answers quickly that "Sir you are not supposed to ask any more question, as it was the last question as you promised .....
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.
This is what Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"

Source:Facebook

Men are Honest (story) VERY FUNNY

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked..
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with AISHWARYA RAI. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others...

Source:Facebook

Amazing INDIA -13.Funny meanings of places in english

1=Large State
"Maha-Rastra"
.
2=Place of Kings
"Raja-Sthan"
.
3=Mr. City
"Shri-Nagar"
.
4=Rhythm of Eyes
"Nayni-Tal"
.
5=Face
"Surat"
.
6=Unmarried Girl.
"Kanya-Kumari"
.
7=No Zip.
"Chen-Nai"
.
8=Come in Evening.
"Aa-Sam"
.
9=Go and Come.
"Go-Aa"
.
10=Answer State.
"Uttar-Pradesh"
.
11=Make Juice.
"Bana-Ras"
.
12=Do Drama.
"Kar-Natak"
.
13=Green Gate
"Hari-Dwar"
Amazing INDIA

Source:facebook

Nokia 808 PureView from Above - What the Earth looks like with PureView

Nokia updated their youtube channel with the new video taken with PureView 808 phone to see how the earth looks like from above, check it here to be amazed

^{“The breakthrough camera phone technology in Nokia 808 PureView http://nokia.ly/Lv2cYf  inspires you to go and capture images of the  most incredible landscape on Earth and beyond. We took the Nokia  808 PureView to Iceland in an attempt to photograph the Earth from space.”}

source: Nokia Youtube Channel

"Eleven Hints for Life" (MUST READ)

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.  But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,  be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Source:facebook

A reply from Mukesh Ambani (Reliance Group) to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.
I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with 100 crore annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary 2 crore is considered only as middle class now days..

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of 100 crore annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is 50 crore annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), 50 crore annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pooja i Chohan.

A philosophical reply from Mukesh Ambani-

Dear Ms. Pooja,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than 100 crore, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over 100 crore annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with 100 crore annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.
signed,
Mukesh Ambani

Source:Facebook

An argument between Professor and Student . It's worth reading it..

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.
By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

Source:facebook