The best ever anti-smoking ad

here is an ad I found about in YouTube, watch it fully

 

An Engineer and A Frog

An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.

The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"

The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Girls are incredible – A must Read

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be twenty six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror

On the morning of her Birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park on a bike.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to her to the most happening pub where he ordered and danced body to body

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite chocolate. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being 26 again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed .
'I meant my waist size, you Retard!!!!'

Moral of the story: No matter how attentively you listen to a woman, you are gonna get it wrong :P :D

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

25 Reasons for Why Guys like Girls?

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight ♥

15. The way she says "Lets not fight anymore" even though you
know that an hour later

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'

18. Actually just the way they kiss you

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that
silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way apologize when it does hurt ..(even though we
don't admit it!) ♥

23. The way they say "I miss you"

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore ;)

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Video

Here is an Video I found on facebook about Ghost Girl In Elevator Scary Prank

 

Watch it completely in full Screen! and let me know your reactions in the comments

Source :

facebook.com/photo.php?v=566135560070699

youtube.com/watch?v=HoJveRDptDs&feature=player_embedded

Indeed one of the best eye opener message

It was their anniversary, and Aisha was waiting for her husband Rajiv to show up.

Things had changed since their marriage, the once cute couple couldn't-live-without-each-other had turned bitter.

Fighting over every little things, both didn't like the way things had changed.

Aisha was waiting to see if Rajiv remembered it was their anniversary!

Just as the door bell rang she ran to find her husband wet and smiling with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

The two started re-living the old days.

Making up for fights, then was d plan for champagne, light music And it was raining outside! It was perfect.

But the moment paused when the phone in the bedroom rang.

Aisha went to pick it up and it was a man. "Hello ma'am I'm calling from the police station. Is this Mr Rajiv Mehra's number?"

"Yes it is!"

"I'm sorry ma'am; but there was an accident and a man died.
We got this number from his wallet; we need you to come and identify his body."

Aisha's heart sank.!!! She was shocked!

But my husband is here with me?"

"Sorry ma'am, but the incident took place at 2 pm, when he was boarding the train."

Aisha was about to lose her conscience.How could this happen?!

She had heard about the soul of the person coming to meet a loved one before it leaves!

She ran into the other room.

He was not there. It was true! He had left her for good!!

Oh God she would have died for another chance to mend every little fight! She rolled on the floor in pain. She lost her chance! Forever!

Suddenly there was a noise from the bathroom, the door opened and Rajiv came out and said "Darling, I forgot to tell you my wallet got stolen today".

LIFE MIGHT NOT GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. SO NEVER WASTE A MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN STILL MAKE UP FOR YOUR WRONGS!!!

Its the last quarter of the year so let's start making amends.
To parents

To siblings

To friends

And many more.

No one is promised tomorrow. Have a wonderful Life with no regrets!

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

One of the Best Read it (Joke)

4 friends meet 30 years after school.

One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No 1 says his son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.

No 3 said his son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.

No 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about. They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son.

He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar. Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.

O no said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends. !! :D

source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Facebook version of JAB TAK HAI JAAN :-

Teri profile ki rangeen mastiya
Teri DP ke beparvah style

Teri cover ki leharati angdaiya
Nahi bhulunga mein

Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan

Tera friendlist se remove karna
Tere mutual friends ka rukh modna

Tera palat ke fir request na bhejana
Nahi maf karunga main

Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan

Inbox mein tere bedhadak msg karne se
Bat bat pe bewajha tere offline hone se

Choti choti teri replies se
Mohabbat karunga mein

Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan

Tere jhute relationship status se
Tere jalte sulagte quotes se

Teri bereham updates se
Nafrat karunga main

Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan

Source: facebook.com/shekharlovespriya

Engineer’s V/S Doctors (On a Train)

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.

So all of them gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..

Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……

When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks, one hand comes out with the ticket and the TC goes away….

Doctors say “Dekh lenge”

NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct train to PUNE.

So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, as from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA) :
Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too areequally SHAANE”….

All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket, Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives….

ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.

ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in Engineers Bathroom…

TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined……..

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
SO now both the group are on LONAVALA station.

Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket ) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…

Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time…

SO TC Comes.. All Engineers show their tickets….. & Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train!!!!!!!!

Doctor socks. . . .ENGINEERS ROX. . .

source: unknown

The Memories of Those Childhood Days

Once choosing the color of a sketch pen was a tough task.

Occupying the window seat in the school bus was called obsession.

Getting a toffee as a birthday treat from a friend made our day.

Being the first one to finish copying from the blackboard was the ultimate moment of pride.

Hiding the answers from a bench partner during exams was not called selfishness.

When homework was the only torture.

We thought all elders are ideal.

Early to bed, early to rise was life’s mantra.

Owning a cycle was like owning everything.

To Look Good was Only to put Loads of Powder & a neat comb.

We didn't need Facebook or a phone to keep in touch!

Awesome are the Memories of Those Childhood Days ♥ :)

Source: facebook.com/OyEngIneErBanEgaKYa

Jab Se India Mein "Facebook" Aaya hai.

Jab Se India Mein "Facebook" Aaya hai.

Bohat saare Changes Hui ha.

1. Sadko Pe Jahgda Bandh, Ab Pages Pe Gali Galonch Hoti hai.

2. Couples Garden Chorrh k FB inbox Mein Milte hai.. And Smiles KisSes Replaced by Emotions..
Muwaahhh

Ha ha he..
Rofl
Lolz
Lmao etc ! :D

3. New frnd fb se bante h

4. Gf ki khoj fb par ki jaati h

5. Ab Politcals Social Issues fb pages Pe Aa gaye h..

6. Ladke Ab Nukkadh Pe Nahi, Pages Pe Ladkiyan Chedte hai ...:p

7. BABA log b fb pr pravachan or AnnShann karte hai :P

FACEBOOK baba ki jai ho

This is beautiful. Read quietly then send it back on its journey

To realize The value of a sister/brother Ask someone Who doesn't have one.

To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother Who has given birth to A premature baby.

To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one hour:
Ask the couple who turned backs and slept without a word.

To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane..

To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend : LOOSE ONE n see :)

Remember, Hold on tight to the ones you love!Do not keep this letter. Send it to friends & family upon whom you wish blessings :) ♥

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Jab Tak Hai Jaan... (Parody-From an employee’s perspective…)

Mujhe Har waqt reporting mein busy rakhne ki teri mastiyan,
Mujhe break na dene ki gustakhiyaan,
Teri bedard overtime ki angdaiyaan,

Nahi bhoolunga main
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Mere Sick leave par approval na dena,
Mere external training se rukh modna,
Mere vacation leave application pe palat ke phir na dekhna,
Nahi maaf karunga main.
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Appraisal Discussions mein bedhadak tere funde se,
Baat baat pe bewajah tere escalation se,
Chhoti chhoti teri bachkani team-meeting se,
Na Mohabbat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan...

Tere growth ke jhoothe kasme vaadon se,
Mere increment ke sulagte khwabon se,
Teri be-raham deadline se,
Nafrat karunga main,
Jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan..

frm Mohamed Zia...

Height of Facebook addiction - Part2

Teacher: What will u do after growng up?

Student: Facebooking

Teacher: No! I mean what will u Become?

Student: Admin of facebook pages

Teacher: O My G0d! I Mean what will u Achieve after u grow up?

Student: Facebook Admin Rights

Teacher: Idiot! I Mean what will u do 4 ur Parents?

Student: I create a page for them on facebooK. "I Luv Mom n Dad.

Teacher: Stupid! What do ur parents want from U?

Student: My Facebook password.

Teacher: Oh God! What is the purpose of ur Life?

Student: Facebook but never face a book..

Student rock... Teacher shock = :P

Source : facebook.com/Chennaites

A Kid's Love Letter Have a Read :D

Dear jaanu..

Love Letter Bhejne ka karan hai ki mujhe tu Bahut pasand hai..

tu bhi humesha Meri taraf dekhti rahti hai isliye mujhe laga ki main bhi tujhe bhaut pasand hu.

Tu maths me meri help karna or tu red ribbon mat lagaya kar Qki Tere pichhe wali ladki us par ink lagati hai..

Isliye mujhe bahut Gussaa aata hai.

wo mere pados me hi rehti hai ink ka badla lene k liye main uske ghar ki bell baja kar bhag jata hOon..

Aur tu Fair & lovely lagaya kar aur Gori dikhegi.

Tere pass wali ladki Guddi hai na...??

wo Tujh se bhi Gori hai lekin mujhe to tu hi pasand hai Qki wo mere pen churati hai.
Letter padhke agar gussa aaye to mujhe wapas kar dena lekin sir kona dena bahut mushkil se likha hai

kisi or ko de dunga :p =DD :D

Tumhara Lover Pappu..:D

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

A very touching story of a couple

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.

I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.

I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.

Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore.

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice.

She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.

These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

Source: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=511540098867336 & @BipinBihari_

This is what happens because of WORK PRESSURE

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys.

Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand.

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the weekly status call?"

I don't login to facebook, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home… thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home.

Yeah sometimes it does happens with me also. keeping hands in front of tap waiting for water to drop by itself is very frequent with me. I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap.

Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it's in the recycle bin!

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn't notice.

And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen :P :D

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

A Touching Story ,must read

A baby boy David was born to a certain family.
The mum was so excited that she hardly put him down.

One day she left him sleeping and went to the garden.
When she was there, the house caught fire and she ran back home as first as possible to save her only son.

People tried to stop her but they didnt succeed.
She went in and found the baby untouched.

Unfotunately her hair caught fire as she was going out and she started burning.
It was very bad for the rest of her life because she had to live with a scar.

The boy grew up and became very rich and shifted to town.
But in the real sense, he was ashamed of his mother's scars.

When people asked him, he would say,
"l dont have someone so ugly in our family as my mother".

One day his mum overheard how his son was telling people and she was very disapointed.

she decided to travel to town to explain to his only son what had happened and the reason behind her uglines.

But unfortunately, the bus she was travelling with, got an accident and the mum died instantly.

The boy heard of the news, and felt very happy.
He then rushed to the village and found people sad

He just passed them and went direct to her mothers room to search for important
documents.

He was shocked to find her MoM's oldest DIARY BOOK written,

DATE: 5th Sept 1980.
I was announced the WINNER MISS TORONTO BEAUTY CONTEST.

DATE: 14th Jan 1982.
My husband Tonny Gateson passed away in road accident and left me six months pregnant.

DATE: 2nd July 1983.
I saved my only son David from a fire and I ended up loosing my hair while scars left on my face.

David felt too bad and started crying,
but it was TOO LATE! TOO LATE!

PLEASE NOTE:
Never try to Abuse or Ignore you Parents. They are a blessing to us and you will cry when they are gone

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Why World is Only for Girls?

If a Girl Laughs Loudly, She is Cheer full,
But;
...If a Boy Laughs Loudly, He is Manner less,

If a Girl Talks Sweetly, She has Manners,
But
If a Boy Talks Sweetly, He is Cunning,

If a Girl is Shopping, She is Trendy,
But;
If a Boy is Shopping, He is Waisting Money,

If a Girl is Silent, She is Disciplined,
But;
If a Boy is Silent, He is Hopeless..,

If a Girl Walks in a Group, Its Unity,
But;
If a Boy Walks in a Group, Its a Gang...! :D :-P

A women and a Frog

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .;)

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.:p

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show\=D/

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!X_X

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situation

1. At movies: hey! What r u doing here...??
Me: tujhe nahi pata yaar.!! Mai yaha ticket black karne aata
hu.. :p
.
.
2. In bus : A fat lady steps on my feet,
& says arey!! beta lagi to nahi..

Me: Nai aunty bahot maja aaya
ek baar fir se karo na :/ :O
.
.
3. When i got woken up at midnight by a call: sorry yar! So raha tha kya....??
Me: Nai yar! Mai to Bas late kar marne ki practise kar raha tha .
.
4. when they see me with shorter hair : yar! Baal katwaye hai
kya...??
Me: Pata Nahi Yaar!! raat ko
soya tha subah uth kar dekha
to andar chale gaye!!
.
.
5. When some 1 call me on my land-line n asks where r
u.....??
Me: yaar mai market mai hu,
phone b gale me latka kar le aaya
hu :/ :P=D :D

A CLASSIC: Why gujjus do well in any field.

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Patel.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.............

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people leave the room.

Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room..

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.
498 people leave the room.

Mr.Patel says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?'

So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Mr. Patel turns to the other candidate and says,
`Kem chho ?….

The other candidate answers 'ekdam majaa maa !!=D

 

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

The Goat And The Horse

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat.

One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said:
- Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat approached the horse and said: - Be strong, my friend.
Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat came back and said :- Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: - Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow.
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said:
- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage!

Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great!
Come on, one, two, three... Good, good.

Now faster, come on Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting:
- It's a miracle! My horse is cured.

We must have a grand party. Let's kill the goat!!!!

The Lesson : this often happens in the workplace.

Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

Remember : LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL !!

If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember :

Amateurs built the Ark [which saved all the species]
and professionals built the Titanic !!

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

5 More Minutes.....

A woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground at West Coast park one fine Sunday Morning.

"That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red T-shirt who was gliding down the slide..

"He's a fine looking boy," the man said."That's my son on the swing in the blue T-shirt."

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son.
"What do you say we go , Jack?"

Jack pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please?" "Just five more minutes."

The man nodded and Jack continued to swing to his heart's content.

Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son.

"Time to go now?"

Again Jack pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

The man smiled and said, "O.K."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, "My older son John was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with John and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Jack. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play."

*Life is not a race. Life is all about making priorities.*

Curtsy:Vijay kumar

How strange it is...

We wish to earn loads of money, but we have the best of times only when we get a few 100s as our pocket money

We wish 2 wear high brands, but we feel most comfortable in pajama pants.;;)

We wish to sit in Taj and Marriot wid elite people but we enjoy roadside vendor food with friends the most...\=D/

We wish to own big cars and go on long drives yet we talk our heart out only while walking down a long road...

We hav 64gb ipods filled with songs, but sometimes a song on the radio brings a smile that can't be compared...:D

Life is simple indeed...O:)

We make it complex by running after what never gives us joy..:]Y
Love life...@>--

Take note of small things...

For when you achieve the bigger ones, you can smile and say...

'I Have Lived It All'

Source: Bhadra

How to Kill English??

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:don't Spit Outside, The Understanding People Will Suffer

19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl

Source: Praveen

7 Dangerous acts after a meal

1. Don’t smoke —- Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher)

2. Don’t eat fruits immediately — Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

3. Don’t drink tea—— Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.

4. Don’t loosen your belt———- Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.

5. Don’t bathe———- ——- Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease, this will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

6. Don’t walk about———- — People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

7. Don’t sleep immediately—- ——– The food we intake will not be to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric and infection in our intestine.

Source: Praveen

Height of facebook addiction

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A boy's status: i m online on fb during lecture hahaha :)

Comment frm his professor: Get out of da class nw :p

Dean liked comment! ;)

Friend commented: jaldi a yar, cafe mai fit mahol hy :D

Gate keeperx cmnt:
Saab pehle idhar a k apni bike lock kr dn.

Mom cmnted:
nalaik class nhi parhni to sabzi le k sedha ghar wapas aa.

Dad cmntd:
dekhlo apne betay ki harkatein.

G.f cmntd: I hate u :-@ kaminay mjhse kaha tha dadi hospital mai hn mil nhi sakta.

Dadi cmntd: Manhoos tu ghar aa btati hun tujhe :p

Source: Praveen