wait but why: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy

wait but why: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy: Say hi to Lucy. Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s.  She'...

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Husband wife watching an IPL match together

Husband wife watching an IPL match together:

After 5 minutes:
Wife: Is this Bret Lee?
Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler.

Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.
Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.

Wife: Hmm, looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.

Wife: How many runs they need to win now?
Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.

Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Husband: *Turns off the TV*

Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "Daily serial"

Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me please ...... :D

Source: Facebook

How bad is your temper according to your horoscope?

ARIES MARCH 21 - APRIL 20
Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged.

Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologies, which makes them easier to forgive.

TAURUS APRIL 21 - MAY 20

You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing.

You generally get upset when you are concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.

 

GEMINI MAY 21 - June 29
You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically.

But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.

 

CANCER JUNE 21 - JULY 21
Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly.

But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

 

LEO JULY 22 - AUGUST 21

If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot.

But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.

VIRGO AUGUST 22 - SEPTEMBER 21

Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand.

You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 22 - OCTOBER 22

Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood.

Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.

SCORPIO OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21
Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person that try to be funny with you.

You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 20

You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down.

Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.

 

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 21 - JANUARY 19

Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings.

But then, there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18

You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst.

You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation
and will be bitter about it for a long time.

PISCES FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20

The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others' feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn.

You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. So nobody can be upset with you for too long.

“Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones."

Source:Internet

3 Idiots ( Facebook Version ) - #MustRead

This happened during Admin recruiting session for the FB page

Rancho - *Smiling*

Teacher- "Aap Muskura kyu rahe hain?"

Rancho - "Bohot Dino se Admin banne ki iccha thi...aj Ban gaya hu..bohot maza aa raha hai"

Teacher- "Zada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat nai hai...Tell me What is a POST?"

Rancho- "Anything that is posted on Facebook..is Post Sir"

Teacher- "Can you Please elaborate?"

Rancho- "Sir..jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai ,post hai sir...Ghumne... -gye..photo daal diya! Post hai Sir. Match dekha Score daal diya! Post hai Sir ..Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hai sir! Katrina ki Pic se Ronaldo ki Kick tak! Sab post hai sir! Ek second me Comment ,ek second me like! Comment-like.. comment-like"
Teacher- "Shut up! ADMIN banke ye karoge?Comment- -like comment like...."

"Hey chatur tum batao"

Chatur- "Pictures,texts or Videos posted through Mobile or Tablet or laptop or desktop via Different Operating
system using Internet on Facebook is called a Post..."

Teacher- "Excellent!"

Rancho- "par sir maine bhi toh vohi bola seedhe shabdo mein..."

Teacher- Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twiter ke pages k admin bano... :@

Rancho- Par sir dusre sites bhi toh..

Teacher-Get out!

Rancho- why sir?

teacher- Seedhe Shabdo me bahar jaiye

Rancho goes out and Comes Back*

Teacher- kya hua?

Rancho- kuch Bhul gya tha sir

Teacher- Kya?

Rancho- An Utility button given to us, to protect our Private data i.e pictures messages or personal Information for being
stolen or Used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...

Teacher- kehna kya chahte ho!?!?

Rancho- logout sir! Logout karna bhul gya tha!

Teacher- seedha seedha nai bol sakte the?!

Rancho- thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir, aapko pasand nahi aaya... :P

Source:Facebook

Thank God It's Monday - Self Check

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.

He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

MORAL:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..! We are busy finding faults in others but we forget to identify the faults within..!

Friendship in love may die, but love in friendship never dies.. ♥♥♥

When everyone else turns away their face, a friend provides you his shoulder.

Many people start neglecting their friends when they are in a relationship. They go on listening to their partner and start distancing themselves from their friends.

The friends shed a silent tear and start staying away from their path. But, when the relationship begins to wane, you don't have anyone else but your friends. ♥

That friend will still listen to you and will happily provide you with his/her shoulder to cry upon. That friend will never argue on why you didn't call him/her or why you don't give them time.

Friends are those amazing people who would always be there. When you have butterflies in your stomach after talking to your crush or when you need a shoulder to cry when your partner hurts you.. ♥

They would never let you do stupid things alone. I am so lucky to have friends who know the lyrics of the song in my heart and sing it back to me when I forget it.

Love your friends because they truly are god's angels in disguise. ♥

Source:.facebook.com/harshal1458

The Monkey and the Apples

There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating delicious fruit when hungry, and resting when tired.

One day he came upon a house, where he saw a bowl of the most beautiful apples. He took one in each hand and ran back into the forest.

He sniffed the apples and smelled nothing. He tried to eat them, but hurt his teeth.

They were made of wood, but they were beautiful, and when the other monkeys saw them, he held onto them even tighter.

He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered the jungle. They glistened red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him.

He became so attached to them, that he didn't even notice his hunger at first.

A fruit tree reminded him, but he felt the apples in his hands. He couldn't bear to set them down to reach for the fruit.

In fact, he couldn't relax, either, if he was to defend his apples. A proud, but less happy monkey continued to walk along the forest trails.

The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about leaving them behind. He was tired, hungry, and he couldn't climb trees or collect fruit with his hands full.

What if he just let go?

Letting go of such valuable things seemed crazy, but what else could he do? He was so tired.

Seeing the next fruit tree, and smelling it's fruit was enough. He dropped the wooden apples and reached up for his meal. He was happy again.

Like that little monkey, we sometimes carry things that seem too valuable to let go.

A man carries an image of himself as "productive" - carries it like a shiny wooden apple. But in reality, his busyness leaves him tired, and hungry for a better life.

Still, letting go seems crazy. Even his worries are sacred apples - they prove he's "doing everything he can." He holds onto them compulsively.

Source: fropki.com

A Story of Tomatoes

An unemployed man goes to try for a job with Microsoft as a cleaner.

The manager there arranges for an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says: You will be appointed on the scale of $30 per day, let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send a form to complete and advise you where to report for work on your first day.

Taken aback, the unemployed man protests that he is neither in possession of a computer nor of an e-mail address.

To this the MS exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed. Stunned, the man leaves.

Not knowing where to turn and only having about $10 left, he decides to buy a 10kg box of tomatoes at the supermarket.

Within less than 2 hours, he sells the tomatoes singly at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night.

And thus it dawns on the man that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early and earlier every day and going to bed late and later, he multiplies his hoard of profits in quite a short time.

Not too long thereafter, he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again shortly afterwards on a pick-up truck.

By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Considering the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life assurance.

Calling an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances.

At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order that he might forward the documentation.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned: "What, you don't even have e-mail?

How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce?

Just imagine where you would have been by now, if you had been connected from the very start!"

After a moment's silence, the tomato millionaire replied: "Sure! I would have been a cleaner at Microsoft!"

Morals of the story:
1: The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.

2: If you don't have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.

3: Seeing that you got this story via e-mail, you're probably closer to becoming a cleaner than you are to becoming a millionaire.

4: If you do have a computer and e-mail, you're already being taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.

THE END

Source: fropki.com

MBA and the fisherman

American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied only a little while.

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.

"You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?" asked the Mexican.

The American laughed, and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!"

"Millions, senor?" replied the Mexican. "Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Then the Mexican Fisherman says:

THEN WHAT AM I DOING NOW?

Source: fropki.com

All I Wanted, Was To Be Reconnected. Student-Teacher

Last night’s dream had left me restless. Even in the world of the unknown I could sense it was her. The warmth I felt last night could have emerged only from an aura like hers.

It had been ten long years since I had seen her. But the threads of time had forever bound me to her: through her thoughts, her values, her ways, and her morals.

I was six years old when I met her. The class bully had thrown my lunch into the dustbin and I had been helplessly crying out of hunger and anger.

She had fondly taken me to the room reserved for teachers and treated me to a feast of crispy pooris and spicy chole.

The taste still lingered in my heart, and so did our first meeting. I had run out of the staff room shouting out that I would ask the class bully to throw away my lunch everyday!

What built over the next ten years from that day at school was beyond a student-teacher relationship. She had become my mother at my second home, a companion with the understanding of a timeless comrade.

She secretly had treated me with pooris and chole. On Saturday mornings, she undid my hair and plaited them into impeccable plaints.

At the age of ten, she introduced me to the world of literature. From Blyton to Wordsworth, she unfolded a world I loved to explore.

She kindled poetry in me at the age of twelve. I effortlessly wove magic with words she taught. She instilled me with culture and traditions, a quest to intrigue, a thirst for knowledge, a temptation to explore, the unexplored, the dome of unquestionable humanity…

She did have a son, but she had resurrected her unborn daughter in me. And I revered this bonding beyond the ties of blood.

Even after school had ended, I was still in contact with her. Over the years that came over, she predominantly was given an authority to voice her views in the important decisions of my life.

Until my marriage, when I settled down in the States forever.

Marriage had not only distanced me from my homeland but also from my dear ones.

It was only birthdays and anniversaries now, that calls were exchanged. I had created my world over here and I had no regrets.

I spoke of her often, to my husband and daughter while reminiscing olden days.

The whole day I only thought of her. Her words echoed in my ears throughout the day.

There was some invisible force compelling me to see her again. I scampered through old photographs to reinitiate the bonding with her.

That night, I buried myself in my husband’s chest and cried. Cried for the distances I created, for lost moments, for happier times. He simply held me tight. It was his way.

After two days, I found three tickets to India on the breakfast table.

I was more than surprised. Just last month, when my in laws had called inviting us for a marriage at home, my husband had stubbornly refused to go, giving an excuse of an important meeting.

Miraculously, the meeting had been put off the previous day. She had once told me, I would find an understanding husband.

After a decade or so, I was back in my homeland. My daughter was intrigued with every small thing. She asked about the dusty streets, the fragrant chamelis, the half clad women, the temples, the richness and the poverty.

My husband and I patiently answered them all. The marriage was a fortnight away. I had my time.

After making a full fledged search, I finally found her. In fact, I found her son. He immediately recognized me.

The ties of satin and silk had not weakened over the years. He was married now, fathering a son. And what he told me about her left me shattered.

She was suffering from Alzheimer, a disease much dreaded and feared. It was a question of now or then for her.

Days and nights had lost count and she was dissolving into an ocean of nothingness engulfed by the dimness of confusion and grief.

She lay quiet for most of the time and sometimes shrieked in sheer confusion. She called out to strangers and estranged people she knew.

I wasted no time in gong to visit her in the hospital. She was wrapped in a brown blanket and stared at the roof. Guilt and tears stung my eyes at the same instance.

I went and sat down beside her, told her things I had planned to tell her when we met. I knew it was of no use.

I gave her the book she had gifted me on my eighteenth birthday, ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’.

She gave me her benign smile. After a few hours, I decided to leave. My dream had come true. She had forgotten me and I was helplessly crying for a reconnection.

As I turned to leave, I heard my name being called out. The same way she had done on our first meeting, this time with the quivers of a pointless existence.

I turned back with all my hope coming back. What I saw stupefied me then and there.

My nine year old daughter, Aakriti was my shadow. She resembled me in every angle. Except for the dimple she had inherited from her father, her features were bestowed from my genes.

Very often she would hold my old photographs in her hand and admire the impeccable resemblance.

I often relived my childhood in her. There she was, my daughter, on her lap. She had undid her hair and was braiding them into the same plaints.

For once, I envied my daughter. I wanted to snatch her away and sit there instead.

Very soon the envy was replaced with what she had always taught me. I resurrected myself into my daughter. It was the only way for are connection!

By Smriti Mahale

Source: fropki.com

Cracked Pot Friends

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots,each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Source: fropki.com

Today's Lesson – Farmer and Donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.

He was astonished at what he saw. with each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less

NOW .................................

Enough of that rubbish . . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.

The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover it up, it always comes back to bite you.

Source: fropki.com/today-lesson-vt50063.html

Staying Late at Office?

It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...

PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...

and who's at work? Most of them??? Take a closer look...

All or most specimens are ??-something male species of the human race...

Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...

and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???

Let's ask one of them...

Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home... here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee.. that is why I am working late... importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.

Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...

Now what r the consequences... read on...

"Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.

With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).

They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and that's when the problem starts... becoz u start having commitments at home too.

For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.

People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".

All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.

*So what's the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..

Learn music...
Learn a foreign language...

try a sport...

TT, cricket.........

importantly Get a girl friend or gal friend, take him/her around town(moral of d story) ...

* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*

Source: Internet

11 Cute Quotes to Bring Cheer....!

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry ! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy Life !

2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly, because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because
you are a vegetarian ! Think about this.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearances, and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside... But don't try going out naked tomorrow, to assess how others admire 'what you are inside' !

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world ! That's called Attitude. Keep on rocking !

5. Every woman hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did !!

6. He was a truly good man... He never smoked, nor drank, and never had an affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim..
.
They said, "He who has never lived, cannot die" !

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles.
He's now being sued by Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles !

8. There are so many options for suicide :
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, etc....
But many chose Marriage : It's slow, but sure !

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, the rest has girlfriends !

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive, or married to someone else !

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Is it not logical to conclude that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking ?!

source: facebook.com/thebackbenchersofficial

Read this beautiful Information about Japan

1 - Did you know that Japanese children clean their schools every day for a quarter of an hour with teachers, which led to the emergence of a Japanese generation who is modest and keen on cleanliness.

2 - Did you know that any Japanese citizen who has a dog must carry bag and special bags to pick up dog droppings. Hygiene and their eagerness to address cleanliness is part of Japanese ethics.

3 - Did you know that hygiene worker in Japan is called "health engineer" and can command salary of USD 5000 to 8000 per month, and a cleaner is subjected to written and oral tests!!

4 - Did you know that Japan does not have any natural resources, and they are exposed to hundreds of earthquakes a year but do not prevent her from becoming the second largest economy in the world?

5 - Did you know that Hiroshima returned to what it was economically vibrant before the fall of the atomic bomb in just ten years?

6 - Did you know that Japan prevents the use of mobile in trains, restaurants and indoor

7 - Did you know that in Japan students from the first to sixth primary year must learn ethics in dealing with people

8 - Did you know that the Japanese even though one of the richest people in the world but they do not have servants. The parents are responsible for the house and children

9 - Did you know that there is no examination from the first to the third primary level; because the goal of education is to instill concepts and character building, not just examination and indoctrination.

10 - Did you know that if you go to a buffet restaurant in Japan you will notice people only eat as much as they need without any waste. No wasteful food.

11 - Did you know that the rate of delayed trains in Japan is about 7 seconds per year!! They appreciate the value of time, very punctual to minutes and seconds

12 -. Did you know that children in schools brush their teeth (sterile) and clean their teeth after a meal at school; They maintain their health from an early age

13 - Did you know that students take half an hour to finish their meals to ensure right digestion When asked about this concern, they said: These students are the future of Japan

Source: .facebook.com/harshal1458

Mr . Bean v/s Einstein:

Einstein & Mr.Bean sitting next to each other on a long flight..

Einstein says,"Let's play a game.. I will ask you a question,if you don't know the answer,you pay me only $5 and if I don't know the answer,I will pay you $500.."

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon..?

Mr.Bean doesn't say a word,reaches his pocket,pulls out a $5..

Now,it's Mr.Bean's turn..

He asks Einstein: What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs..?

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends..

After an hour he gives Mr.Bean $500..

Einstein going nuts and asks: Well,so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..?

Mr.Bean reaches his pocket and gives Einstein 5$

source: .facebook.com/harshal1458

Q. What is love and explain in details?

Answer:
MBA Student's Answer: Love is life.
... (marks : 1/2 from 10)

----------------------------------------
C.A. Student's Answer : Love is pain.
... ( marks : 1/2 from 10)
----------------------------------------

THE PHARMACIST - Answered :
- Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men women that can cause death of one or both depending on the resistance associated.

- TYPES:
one sided both sided

- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers but nowadays can be found in any age

- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction

- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile

- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe or
Mother's Sandals...
(marks 10 from 10) Excellent !

lozzzz

Source: .facebook.com/harshal1458

Funny facts

Paul Hunn holds the record for the loudest burp, which was 118.1 decibels, which is as loud as a chainsaw.

A chicken with red earlobes will produce brown eggs, and a chicken with white earlobes will produce white eggs.

There is a town in Texas called Ding Dong. In 1990, the population was only twenty-two people.

The longest kiss on record lasted 30 hours and 45 minutes. Dror Orpaz and Carmit Tsubara recorded it on April 5, 1999 at a kissing contest held in Tel Aviv, Israel.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

The reason why your nose gets runny when you are crying is because the tears from the eyes drain into the nose.

The reason why tattoos do not vanish even though we shed our skin is because the dye is injected deeper into the dermis part of the skin. It is only the epidermis that we shed.

It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum, a part of the brain, warns the rest of the brain that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation.

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Girls in Real Life and On Facebook... Fe­el The Difference ..

This 1 is Hilarious :----- Girls in Real Life and On Facebook..........Fe­el The Difference ..

1) Real Name : Julekha, Babita, Padmini , Dimpy....... BB Name: Juls , Bebo, Princess, Doll

2) Bachpan se aaj tak gharwalo ko bhale hi Good morning na wish kia ho :D Par FB pe Daily Good morning ka status daalengi :p

3) Real me bhale hi Gogs na khareeda ho kabhi :D par FB ki profile pic k liye kai na kai se borrow karleti hai :D

4) poora din ghar pe jhaadu katka karne k baad FB ka status: Aaah Gosh!! I am so Tired after hanging with buddies :p

5) Sabji Mandi se sabjia khareedte time Status: Shopping at Shoppers Stop Or Mega Mart :D :x =))

6) Boyfrnd bhale na ho :D FB status Commited hoga Boy frnd hoga to fb status Single hoga :p .

7) jis building meh rehte hai us building ke gym meh jaa kar , FB Status pe ! In Gold's Gym =D =D =)) :x X_X :p Uffffff ! :/ ye

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

The Guy's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write down this all Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind reader

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys..

1. If something we said can be interpret in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Courtesy- Deepak Lalwani

Source: facebook.com/RajnikantVsCIDJokes

School life

---> Big gang of friends

---> Colorful uniforms

---> Bakery chats

---> New chat in tuition center

---> Silly fights

---> One side love

---> Friendly teachers

---> Group photos

---> Combined studies

---> Never ending P.T. periods

---> Rocking annual days

---> Group discussion's on anything & nothing.

---> So many hands in a single lunch box

---> Remarkable marks.

---> Justified mistakes.

---> Lovable tours.

♥ SCHOOL LIFE is just a HEAVEN ♥

The love story of Ron and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.

I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ron hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied (you'll love this) .
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?' :P :D

Girls don't mind

 

Source:  facebook.com/harshal1458

Jokes ka Khazana :D

1) Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka .. . Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!

2) A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband..
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!

3) A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 Years Later - Watchman.
10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.

4) Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate
raho...
taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED" ho.

5) Wife - agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHO

6) Why love marriage is better dan Arranged????
B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".

7) Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.

8) A man gave an ad in Matrimonial column "PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:- " Meri Le Ja...!"

9) Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

10) Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy,an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man...

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

10 best moments in life :)

1. To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep "10 min"..

2. To finish your last exam

3. To get a phone call saying class is cancelled.

4. To see an old friend again and to feel that things have not changed.

5. To touch the fingers of newly born child.

6. Walking alone on a silent road at night and thinking of some good old days memories.

7. Riding the cycle/bike on a highway while it’s raining.

8. Sitting alone but you are still smiling cause you know someone is watching you.

9. -The calm You feel inside when you Are near to Almighty God

10. And the last one is "right now" while reading this message there was constant smile on your face....

Source.facebook.com/harshal1458

Poem by a girl who left her lover for her family

She writes these words to her lover"s new gf :-

Aaj apne parivaar k liye maine mera pyaar kho diya
ye dard sehne k baad bhi logo ne mujhe bewafa keh diya

Main khud ko maaf nahi kar paaungi kabhi
ye usse me samjha nhi paaungi kabhi

Tum jab aaogi uski zindagi mein
usee sambhaal lena bhool jaye wo mujhe usse itna pyaar dena

Use meetha nahi pasand hai khyal rkhna
Sardiyo mein aksar bimar ho jata hai dhyaan rkhna

Kabhi kabhi bahut gussa ho jata hai
Pyaar se poocho to ro jaata hai

Usse gusse mai kabhi kuch karne mat denaa
Usse Baarisho me kabhi akela rehne mat denaa

Door jaaye kabhi to uska hath thaam lena
Tumhe waqt na de paaye to naraz na hona

Kabhi mujhe yaad kar baithe to usse chodh kar mat jaana
Bas usse kass kar apni bahon me bhar lena

Bhoolega wo sab kuch ek din
Bhool jayega wo mujhe ek din

Source: facebook.com/shekharlovespriya

30 Days...Heart Touching Story!!!

Boy and Girl are sitting alone in the park one night....

Boy: I guess we are the left overs in this world ....
Girl: I think so...All of my friends have boyfriends and we are only the 2 persons left in this world with out any special person in our life ...

Boy: Yup I don't know what to do..
Girl: I know! We'll play a game ..

Boy: What game ?
Girl: I'll be your girl friend for 30 days and you will be my boy friend ...

Boy: That's a great plan in fact i don't have nothing to do much this following weeks. ..

DAY 1:
They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film ..

DAY 4:
They went to the beach and have a picnic...
Boy and Girl have their quality time together

DAY 12:
Boy invited Girl to a circus and they ride on a Horror House....Girl was scared and she touched Boy's hand but she touched someone else's hand and they both laughed...

DAY 15:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said: "My darling, Please don't waste the time of your life...Spend the rest of your time together
happily" Then tears flow out from the teller's eyes

DAY 20:
Girl invited Boy to go to the hill and they saw a meteor...Girl mumbled
something ...

DAY 28:
They sat on the bus and because of a bumpy road Girl gave her first kiss to Boy by accident ...

DAY 29:
11:37pm
Girl and Boy sat in the park where they first decided to play this game...
Boy: I'm tired ...Do you want any  drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road ...

Girl: Apple Juice that's all ...
Boy: Wait for me....

20 minutes later... a stranger approached Girl …

Stranger: Are you a friend of that Boy?
Girl: Why yes? What happened ?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over boy and he is critical in the hospital ...

11:57pm
The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple juice and a letter ...

Doctor: We found this in boy's pocket..

Girl reads the letter and it says:
This past few days, i realized … you are really a cute girl and i am really falling for you.. Your cherish smile your everything when we
played this game..... Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for the rest of my life....
I love you ....

Girl crumples the paper and shouted:
"i don't want you to die... I love you... Remember that night when we saw a meteor, I mumbled something... I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don't leave me.... I love you! You cannot do this to me "

Then the clock strikes 12

Boy's heart start pumping ....

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY

Source: facebook.com/emptiness.ankitshukla

Reality of Indians!

 

-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.

-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's to manage the First Class students.

-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.

-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.

-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.

Source:facebook.com/harshal1458

World is round

Dear Electricity,
They are just using you so that they can start me up.
Sincerely, Computer.

Dear Computer,
They are just using you to start a connection with me.
Sincerely, Internet.

Dear Internet,
They are just searching for me through you.
Sincerely, Google.

Dear Google,
They're only using you to get to me.
Sincerely, Wikipedia.

Dear Wikipedia,
They're just using you.
Sincerely, Home Work.

Dear Home Work,
They do you so that they can get me.
Sincerely, Marks.

Dear Marks,
They get you because they want to through me.
Sincerely, Exams.

Dear Exams,
They pass through you just so that they make me.
Sincerely, Money.

Dear Money,
They make you just so that they can pay my bills
Sincerely, Electricity.

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

10 Gurumantras for a cool life

1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa.

2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.

3. Save water. Drink on the rocks.

4. Fruits/Salads are healthy. So leave it for sick.

5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.

6. Don't shout in the class. It disturbs those who are sleeping.

7. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

8. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

9. Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow. By someone else.

10. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life.

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

A Despo Gal's Facebook Status Updates

"Wow I just found the love of my life...Nothing will ever stop me from loving my man♥."
.
,, ,,
.
14 DAY LATER:-
"Never make sum1 a priority when u're just an option to them..xm!"
.
,, ,,
.
2 DAYS LATER:-
"I HATE love so much!"
.
,, ,,
.
3 DAYS LATER.
"I'm happy to remain single and I will never fall in love again."
.
,, ,,
.
5 DAYS LATER:-
"I'm looking for a man to love and treat me ryt."
.
,, ,,
.
15 DAYS LATER:-
"When u deeply fall inlove with a person,u realize why it didn't work with anybody else but him.I love my guy so much....mwaaah. "
.
,, ,,
.
8 DAYS LATER:-
"bulshit..!! All men are the same.

 

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

The secret of the time

Have u ever thought that why the clocks, watches and timepieces always say (roughly) 10:10 before you set the correct time, it’s really amazing.

But there is behind philosophy and logic why factory setting fix on 10:10?

If you go into a store selling any kind of time-telling device, that is the default factory setting. Why is that?!!”

First things first, let’s get the myths out of the way. There are plenty of people out there who think that clocks in advertisements and in-store displays are set this way memorialize Abraham Lincoln/John F. Kennedy/Martin Luther King Jr. because that was the time at which they were shot or died.

In reality, Lincoln was shot at 10:15 p.m., and died the next morning at 7:22 a.m., JFK was shot at 12:30 p.m. CST and was pronounced dead 1 p.m. and MLK was shot 6:01 p.m. and pronounced dead at 7:05 p.m.

Another theory has it that 10:10 was the time that an atomic bomb was dropped on either Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and the setting is in memory of the casualties.

The Fat Man bomb was actually dropped on the former at 11:02 a.m. local time and the Little Boy on the latter at 8:15 a.m. local time.
The real reason for the setting? Aesthetics.

The 10:10 position gives the clock or watches a number of benefits:

• The hands not overlapping, so they’re fully and clearly visible and their styling can be admired.

• The arrangement of the hands is symmetrical, which people generally find more pleasant than asymmetry, making the product more appealing to customers.

• The manufacturer’s logo, usually in the center of the face under the 12, is not only visible, but nicely framed by the hands.

• Additional elements on the face (like date windows and secondary dials), usually placed near the 3, 6, or 9, won’t be obscured.

Source: Siddharth Nair

Respect Women–Do read it fully

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well...

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are ;
Who is earning almost as much as you do ;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are ;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life ;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain ;

to be a servant, a cook, a mother,a wife, even if she doesn't want to ; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met ;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

I hope you will do.... :)

Source: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=188006571284328

Confession of a lady!!!

During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).

When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone ...rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable!

Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused: "Happy Birthday" :)

Source: facebook.com/JoketinClub

What is Life?

On the first day,
God created the dog and said,
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said,
"That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?":|

So God agreed....
On the second day,
God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said,
"Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?";)

And God agreed.....
On the third day,
God created the cow and said,
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said,
"That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again...
On the fourth day,
God created humans and said,
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said,
"Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?":D

"Okay," said God.
"You asked for it.";)

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained!

Source: .facebook.com/JoketinClub

College Dosti Roxxx!!!

A sweet line after a huge fight: "Chal sale ab 1 thanda toh pila"

A sweet line for a friend when scolded from teacher: "Chhod na yaar ye sali pagal hai. Apne piche hi padi rehti hai"

A sweet line when a group member absent:
"Sala kahi ladki k sath hoga"

A sweet line when any of our friend got dumped: "Chhod na sali tere type ki nahi thi"

A sweet line to your friends when we were blank at exams: "Sale kitni sheet bharega? Muje bhi to bata"

A sweet line when all group got punished:
"Sab teri wajah se hua kaminey"

With tears, the sweetest line when all separate: "Jaa sale hum toh chhote log hai na, tum bade log humse baat thodi karoge"

Without frnds Life iS NothinG
Dost kitne bhi kaminey ho but jaan hote hai ♥ :)

Source:facebook

Crazy people on my WhatsApp list.

1. Someone on his status “Sleeping”
since 3 days!
He’s probably dead.

2. Someone never sends anything, then at night once a week/month he says: “Good night”
WTF!

3. Someone is sick since the time I added him.

4. Someone steals my status and keeps it at the same time when I do.

5. Someone is “Driving”
…since 3 days!
I guess he reached Pakistan!!


6. Someone sends me back exactly what I sent to him..
Seems like he wants to play table tennis!

7. Someone still has his status as “Happy New Year!”

8. Someone’s status is “Happy” since one month.
Living in Paradise?

9. Someone when I send a broadcast he just puts a smiley face.

10. From first day their status is, ‘Hey there! I’m using WhatsApp’
I know it! That’s why you’re on my list!

Source:facebook

Must Read 'Hai Himmat To'

Jo kehte hai beti sirf ek bojh hai,
Tumhari bahu bhi ek ladki hogi, hai himmat to apne bete ki shadi kisi ladke se krwado..

Jo bolte hai ladki ka ghar se bahar kaam krna jurm hai,
Desh mein bahut si mahila mantri hai, hai himmat to unn sb ko najar band krwado..

Jo kehte hai ladki ka mobile rakhna galat hai,
Bina mobile ke musibat mein sidhe madad mang sake, hai himmat to aise tower lgwado..

Jo bolte hai ladkiyon ke shehari kapde uksate hai ladko ko,
Gaav mein kisi bachi ke saath hawaniyat na ho, hai himmat koi aisa sakht kanoon bnado..

Jo kehte hai SIRF paschami kapde jimedar hai desh ke ye haal ke liye,Apne bete ko bolo dhoti pehne, na mane agr vo, hai himmat to unko deewaro mein chinwado..

Jo bolte hai SIRF AUR SIRF vedo, grantho se judkr jurm khatam hota hai,Band krwa baki har vishay(subject), hai himmat to bache bache ko ram charit manas ki tution lgwado..

Jo kehte hai aurat lipa-pothi krke dikhawe ke liye utri sadko par DAMINI ke liye,Na banna padega kisi aur ko 'dusri damini', hai himmat to unko ye aashwasan dilwado..

Jo bolte hai ki darindo ko bhai-baap kehkr unse bacha ja sakta hai,
koi bhai na khele apni behen ki ijjat ke saath, hai himmat to unko koi aisa pakka pravachan sunado..

Jo sochte hai haiwaino ko fansi dena apraadh hai,
'AAP INSAAN HO' ye galat veham apne maan se mitado..

Pehle khud ki soch badlo fir badlega ye desh,
Agr kuch bhi galat bola to beshak mujh ko fansi chadwado..

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

**Funny Full Forms Of It Companies**

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds

8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings

12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort

13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters

14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.

15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

Source: facebook

* This is Student Life * Definitions Altered

1- SPEED : Getting ready in 5 minutes

2- SHARING : Whole class copying one assignment but in totally different way

3- PRESENTATION SKILLS : Can present one answer in 5 different ways for 5 different questions :D

4- EDITING : Your report contains atleast 5 pages less than the person from whom you copied

5- MULTI TASKING: Playing games on cell, sms to gf/bf, gossiping with seat mate, day dreaming, making teacher’s sketch and still pretending that you are listening what teacher is saying.

6- ART : Beautiful art on the last page of note book.

7- SENSE OF HUMOR : Provide best unintentional humor to teachers during Viva :D

8- CONSISTENCY : Once a Zero, always a Zero!

9- VOICE MODULATION : Attendance in 5 different voices.

10- STAMINA : Tolerating teacher for consecutive 1 hour :D

11- PERIPHERAL VISION: Staring at your crush, no matter where so ever he/she sits :D

12- HUMANITY : Failing and keeping the consistency of giving others a chance to top! :D

13- TALENT : Make whole class laugh no matter how tense is the situation.

Source: .facebook.com/JOKEZONE

Indian Taxes

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you gettingin Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out ofStation for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchasedHouse?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!

Source:facebook.com/JOKEZONE

Height of Flirting

Girl calls a boy:
Girl: Hello baby

Boy: Ohh janu bolo
Girl: Kahan ho yar subah se koi ata pata nahi!

Boy: Are hum to khoye hue hain aapki aankhon me..
Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho........??

Boy: tumhari pic dekh raha hun, kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha..
Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi nahi!!

Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai barson se..
Girl: But hum to parson hi mile hain!!

Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal barson hai Pinky....
Girl: Pinky...?? Ye pinky kaun hai ?? main to nisha hu

Boy: Tumse baat karke mai to sab bhul jata hun..
Girl: Tum prashant ho na....??

Boy: Gharwale to satya bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain tum nahi..

Girl: Ye 998XXXXXX hai na....??

Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab se yehi hai…=D :P :D :P

Source:facebook.com/JOKEZONE

Some Facts about Bill gates

Bill gates earns 250 US $ every second, that's about 20million a day and 7.8 billion a year!

If he drops a thousand dollar(almost 50,000 Rs), he won't even bother to pick it up because the 4 seconds he picks it,he would've already earned it back.

The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion,if bill gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10years.

He can donate 15 US$ to everyone on earth but still be left with 5million US$ for his pocket money.

Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. if he doesn't drink and eat,and keep his annual income i.e. 30 million US $ he will have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as bill gates is now.

If Bill gates was a country on earth he would be the 37th richest country on earth

If you change all of bill gate's money to 1 US $ notes, you can make a road from earth to moon,14 times back and forth. but you have to make that road non stop for 1400 years,and use a total of 713 Boeing 747 planes to transport all the money.

last but not the least:

If Microsoft windows users can claim 1 US$ for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft windows, bill gates will be bankrupt in 3 days

Source: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=430767156995441

Did you know?.... Mind blowing Lincoln and Kennedy Coincidences

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

AND..........

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...

Source: facebook

Killing English BY Teachers

1. Principal To Student..."I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ?"

2. Class Teacher Once Said :"Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

 
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."

4."..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said"Why Is Fan Not Oning"(IngForm Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

 
8."Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This"Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10."Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,"IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

 
12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us..."My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry
My Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father

14."Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.."I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The  Teacher Told The Noisy Class.."Keep Quiet,The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told"If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:don't Spit Outside, The Understanding People Will Suffer

19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl
.

this post is only for fun, not to hurt anyone.

Source:facebook.com/harshal1458

Movie dialogue in chemistry language..

*My name is bond, covalnt bond..

*Rishtey m hum 2mhare allotrope lagte h, naam h diamond..

*p-block se dr ni lagta sahab, d-block se lagta h.

*1 bar jo maine bond toda usk bad to m activatin enrgy ki b ni sunta..

*Resonance ko neglct krna mushkil hi ni namumkin h..

*Ye electron mujhe dede carbon...

*1 chutki oxygen ki kimat tum kyA jano hydrogn babu..

& last but nt d least

Thermodynamics abi baki hai mere dost

Source:facebook

An Mail sent by Narayan Murthy to all Infosys staff

It’s half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on…

PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing…

And who’s at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look…

All or most specimens are ?? Something male species of the human race…

Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors…

And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!

Any guesses??? Let’s ask one of them…

Here’s what he says… ‘What’s there 2 do after going home…Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late…Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!’

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.

Bachelors ‘Passing-Time’ during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they’ve nothing else to do…

Now what r the consequences…
‘Working’ (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.

With bosses more than eager to provide support to those ‘working’ late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he’s a hard worker….. goes home only to change..!!).

They aren’t helping things too…

To hell with bosses who don’t understand the difference between ‘sitting’ late and ‘working’ late!!!

Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family… office is no longer a priority, family is… and That’s when the problem starts… b’coz u start having commitments at home too.

For your boss, the earlier ‘hardworking’ guy suddenly seems to become a ‘early leaver’ even if u leave an hour after regular time… after doing the same amount of work.

People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers…

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays… though) leave on time are labeled as ‘not up to it’.

All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on ‘working’ not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.

So what’s the moral of the story??
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time ‘ unless really needed ‘
* Don’t stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..

Learn music…..
Learn a foreign language…

Try a sport… TT, cricket………..

Importantly,get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town…

* And for heaven’s sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *’Life’s calling, where are you??’*

IT’S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.

PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON’T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

Regards,

NARAYAN MURTHY.

Source: facebook

Picture Jokes - Part 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source:raghu

A man and Hell (Indian Hell Included)

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,
"What do they do there?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.

He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.

He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work

Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former government servant

So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen..!" :P :D

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458

Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.

He sacrifices his chocolates 4 his sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just a smile on his parents face.

He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling

He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.

He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4 lifetime.

He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.

His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.

His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.
Respect every male in your life.

U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.

 

BECHARA MARD...!?
Agar aurat par hath uthaye to BESHARAM,
Aurat se maar khae to BUZDIL,

Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kre to JEALOUS,
Chup rahe to DARPOK,

ghar se bahar rahe to AAWARA,
ghar me rahe to NAAKARA,

bachho ko dante to ZALIM,
na dante to LAPARWAH,

Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to SHAK KARNE WALA,
na rokey to BIWI ki kamai KHANE WALA,

Maa ki mane to CHAMCHA,
Biwi ki sune to Joru ka GULAM...

Na Jane Kab Aayega,

Source: facebook.com/harshal1458