---> Big gang of friends
---> Colorful uniforms
---> Bakery chats
---> New chat in tuition center
---> Silly fights
---> One side love
---> Friendly teachers
---> Group photos
---> Combined studies
---> Never ending P.T. periods
---> Rocking annual days
---> Group discussion's on anything & nothing.
---> So many hands in a single lunch box
---> Remarkable marks.
---> Justified mistakes.
---> Lovable tours.
♥ SCHOOL LIFE is just a HEAVEN ♥
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ron hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied (you'll love this) .
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?' :P :D
Girls don't mind
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
1) Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka .. . Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!
2) A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband..
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!
3) A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 Years Later - Watchman.
10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.
4) Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate
raho...
taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED" ho.
5) Wife - agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHO
6) Why love marriage is better dan Arranged????
B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".
7) Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.
8) A man gave an ad in Matrimonial column "PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:- " Meri Le Ja...!"
9) Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."
10) Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy,an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man...
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
1. To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep "10 min"..
2. To finish your last exam
3. To get a phone call saying class is cancelled.
4. To see an old friend again and to feel that things have not changed.
5. To touch the fingers of newly born child.
6. Walking alone on a silent road at night and thinking of some good old days memories.
7. Riding the cycle/bike on a highway while it’s raining.
8. Sitting alone but you are still smiling cause you know someone is watching you.
9. -The calm You feel inside when you Are near to Almighty God
10. And the last one is "right now" while reading this message there was constant smile on your face....
Source.facebook.com/harshal1458
She writes these words to her lover"s new gf :-
Aaj apne parivaar k liye maine mera pyaar kho diya
ye dard sehne k baad bhi logo ne mujhe bewafa keh diya
Main khud ko maaf nahi kar paaungi kabhi
ye usse me samjha nhi paaungi kabhi
Tum jab aaogi uski zindagi mein
usee sambhaal lena bhool jaye wo mujhe usse itna pyaar dena
Use meetha nahi pasand hai khyal rkhna
Sardiyo mein aksar bimar ho jata hai dhyaan rkhna
Kabhi kabhi bahut gussa ho jata hai
Pyaar se poocho to ro jaata hai
Usse gusse mai kabhi kuch karne mat denaa
Usse Baarisho me kabhi akela rehne mat denaa
Door jaaye kabhi to uska hath thaam lena
Tumhe waqt na de paaye to naraz na hona
Kabhi mujhe yaad kar baithe to usse chodh kar mat jaana
Bas usse kass kar apni bahon me bhar lena
Bhoolega wo sab kuch ek din
Bhool jayega wo mujhe ek din
Source: facebook.com/shekharlovespriya
Boy and Girl are sitting alone in the park one night....
Boy: I guess we are the left overs in this world ....
Girl: I think so...All of my friends have boyfriends and we are only the 2 persons left in this world with out any special person in our life ...
Boy: Yup I don't know what to do..
Girl: I know! We'll play a game ..
Boy: What game ?
Girl: I'll be your girl friend for 30 days and you will be my boy friend ...
Boy: That's a great plan in fact i don't have nothing to do much this following weeks. ..
DAY 1:
They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film ..
DAY 4:
They went to the beach and have a picnic...
Boy and Girl have their quality time together
DAY 12:
Boy invited Girl to a circus and they ride on a Horror House....Girl was scared and she touched Boy's hand but she touched someone else's hand and they both laughed...
DAY 15:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said: "My darling, Please don't waste the time of your life...Spend the rest of your time together
happily" Then tears flow out from the teller's eyes
DAY 20:
Girl invited Boy to go to the hill and they saw a meteor...Girl mumbled
something ...
DAY 28:
They sat on the bus and because of a bumpy road Girl gave her first kiss to Boy by accident ...
DAY 29:
11:37pm
Girl and Boy sat in the park where they first decided to play this game...
Boy: I'm tired ...Do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road ...
Girl: Apple Juice that's all ...
Boy: Wait for me....
20 minutes later... a stranger approached Girl …
Stranger: Are you a friend of that Boy?
Girl: Why yes? What happened ?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over boy and he is critical in the hospital ...
11:57pm
The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple juice and a letter ...
Doctor: We found this in boy's pocket..
Girl reads the letter and it says:
This past few days, i realized … you are really a cute girl and i am really falling for you.. Your cherish smile your everything when we
played this game..... Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for the rest of my life....
I love you ....
Girl crumples the paper and shouted:
"i don't want you to die... I love you... Remember that night when we saw a meteor, I mumbled something... I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don't leave me.... I love you! You cannot do this to me "
Then the clock strikes 12
Boy's heart start pumping ....
THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY
Source: facebook.com/emptiness.ankitshukla
-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.
-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's to manage the First Class students.
-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.
-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.
-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.
Source:facebook.com/harshal1458
Dear Electricity,
They are just using you so that they can start me up.
Sincerely, Computer.
Dear Computer,
They are just using you to start a connection with me.
Sincerely, Internet.
Dear Internet,
They are just searching for me through you.
Sincerely, Google.
Dear Google,
They're only using you to get to me.
Sincerely, Wikipedia.
Dear Wikipedia,
They're just using you.
Sincerely, Home Work.
Dear Home Work,
They do you so that they can get me.
Sincerely, Marks.
Dear Marks,
They get you because they want to through me.
Sincerely, Exams.
Dear Exams,
They pass through you just so that they make me.
Sincerely, Money.
Dear Money,
They make you just so that they can pay my bills
Sincerely, Electricity.
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa.
2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.
3. Save water. Drink on the rocks.
4. Fruits/Salads are healthy. So leave it for sick.
5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.
6. Don't shout in the class. It disturbs those who are sleeping.
7. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
8. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
9. Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow. By someone else.
10. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life.
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
"Wow I just found the love of my life...Nothing will ever stop me from loving my man♥."
.
,, ,,
.
14 DAY LATER:-
"Never make sum1 a priority when u're just an option to them..xm!"
.
,, ,,
.
2 DAYS LATER:-
"I HATE love so much!"
.
,, ,,
.
3 DAYS LATER.
"I'm happy to remain single and I will never fall in love again."
.
,, ,,
.
5 DAYS LATER:-
"I'm looking for a man to love and treat me ryt."
.
,, ,,
.
15 DAYS LATER:-
"When u deeply fall inlove with a person,u realize why it didn't work with anybody else but him.I love my guy so much....mwaaah. "
.
,, ,,
.
8 DAYS LATER:-
"bulshit..!! All men are the same.
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
Have u ever thought that why the clocks, watches and timepieces always say (roughly) 10:10 before you set the correct time, it’s really amazing.
But there is behind philosophy and logic why factory setting fix on 10:10?
If you go into a store selling any kind of time-telling device, that is the default factory setting. Why is that?!!”
First things first, let’s get the myths out of the way. There are plenty of people out there who think that clocks in advertisements and in-store displays are set this way memorialize Abraham Lincoln/John F. Kennedy/Martin Luther King Jr. because that was the time at which they were shot or died.
In reality, Lincoln was shot at 10:15 p.m., and died the next morning at 7:22 a.m., JFK was shot at 12:30 p.m. CST and was pronounced dead 1 p.m. and MLK was shot 6:01 p.m. and pronounced dead at 7:05 p.m.
Another theory has it that 10:10 was the time that an atomic bomb was dropped on either Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and the setting is in memory of the casualties.
The Fat Man bomb was actually dropped on the former at 11:02 a.m. local time and the Little Boy on the latter at 8:15 a.m. local time.
The real reason for the setting? Aesthetics.
The 10:10 position gives the clock or watches a number of benefits:
• The hands not overlapping, so they’re fully and clearly visible and their styling can be admired.
• The arrangement of the hands is symmetrical, which people generally find more pleasant than asymmetry, making the product more appealing to customers.
• The manufacturer’s logo, usually in the center of the face under the 12, is not only visible, but nicely framed by the hands.
• Additional elements on the face (like date windows and secondary dials), usually placed near the 3, 6, or 9, won’t be obscured.
Source: Siddharth Nair
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well...
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are ;
Who is earning almost as much as you do ;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are ;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life ;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain ;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother,a wife, even if she doesn't want to ; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met ;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her.
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this......
Please appreciate "HER"
I hope you will do.... :)
Source: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=188006571284328
During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).
When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone ...rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused: "Happy Birthday" :)
Source: facebook.com/JoketinClub
On the first day,
God created the dog and said,
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said,
"That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?":|
So God agreed....
On the second day,
God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said,
"Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?";)
And God agreed.....
On the third day,
God created the cow and said,
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said,
"That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again...
On the fourth day,
God created humans and said,
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said,
"Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?":D
"Okay," said God.
"You asked for it.";)
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained!
Source: .facebook.com/JoketinClub
A sweet line after a huge fight: "Chal sale ab 1 thanda toh pila"
A sweet line for a friend when scolded from teacher: "Chhod na yaar ye sali pagal hai. Apne piche hi padi rehti hai"
A sweet line when a group member absent:
"Sala kahi ladki k sath hoga"
A sweet line when any of our friend got dumped: "Chhod na sali tere type ki nahi thi"
A sweet line to your friends when we were blank at exams: "Sale kitni sheet bharega? Muje bhi to bata"
A sweet line when all group got punished:
"Sab teri wajah se hua kaminey"
With tears, the sweetest line when all separate: "Jaa sale hum toh chhote log hai na, tum bade log humse baat thodi karoge"
Without frnds Life iS NothinG
Dost kitne bhi kaminey ho but jaan hote hai ♥ :)
Source:facebook
1. Someone on his status “Sleeping”
since 3 days!
He’s probably dead.
2. Someone never sends anything, then at night once a week/month he says: “Good night”
WTF!
3. Someone is sick since the time I added him.
4. Someone steals my status and keeps it at the same time when I do.
5. Someone is “Driving”
…since 3 days!
I guess he reached Pakistan!!
6. Someone sends me back exactly what I sent to him..
Seems like he wants to play table tennis!
7. Someone still has his status as “Happy New Year!”
8. Someone’s status is “Happy” since one month.
Living in Paradise?
9. Someone when I send a broadcast he just puts a smiley face.
10. From first day their status is, ‘Hey there! I’m using WhatsApp’
I know it! That’s why you’re on my list!
Source:facebook
Jo kehte hai beti sirf ek bojh hai,
Tumhari bahu bhi ek ladki hogi, hai himmat to apne bete ki shadi kisi ladke se krwado..
Jo bolte hai ladki ka ghar se bahar kaam krna jurm hai,
Desh mein bahut si mahila mantri hai, hai himmat to unn sb ko najar band krwado..
Jo kehte hai ladki ka mobile rakhna galat hai,
Bina mobile ke musibat mein sidhe madad mang sake, hai himmat to aise tower lgwado..
Jo bolte hai ladkiyon ke shehari kapde uksate hai ladko ko,
Gaav mein kisi bachi ke saath hawaniyat na ho, hai himmat koi aisa sakht kanoon bnado..
Jo kehte hai SIRF paschami kapde jimedar hai desh ke ye haal ke liye,Apne bete ko bolo dhoti pehne, na mane agr vo, hai himmat to unko deewaro mein chinwado..
Jo bolte hai SIRF AUR SIRF vedo, grantho se judkr jurm khatam hota hai,Band krwa baki har vishay(subject), hai himmat to bache bache ko ram charit manas ki tution lgwado..
Jo kehte hai aurat lipa-pothi krke dikhawe ke liye utri sadko par DAMINI ke liye,Na banna padega kisi aur ko 'dusri damini', hai himmat to unko ye aashwasan dilwado..
Jo bolte hai ki darindo ko bhai-baap kehkr unse bacha ja sakta hai,
koi bhai na khele apni behen ki ijjat ke saath, hai himmat to unko koi aisa pakka pravachan sunado..
Jo sochte hai haiwaino ko fansi dena apraadh hai,
'AAP INSAAN HO' ye galat veham apne maan se mitado..
Pehle khud ki soch badlo fir badlega ye desh,
Agr kuch bhi galat bola to beshak mujh ko fansi chadwado..
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds
8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings
12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort
13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters
14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.
15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
Source: facebook
1- SPEED : Getting ready in 5 minutes
2- SHARING : Whole class copying one assignment but in totally different way
3- PRESENTATION SKILLS : Can present one answer in 5 different ways for 5 different questions :D
4- EDITING : Your report contains atleast 5 pages less than the person from whom you copied
5- MULTI TASKING: Playing games on cell, sms to gf/bf, gossiping with seat mate, day dreaming, making teacher’s sketch and still pretending that you are listening what teacher is saying.
6- ART : Beautiful art on the last page of note book.
7- SENSE OF HUMOR : Provide best unintentional humor to teachers during Viva :D
8- CONSISTENCY : Once a Zero, always a Zero!
9- VOICE MODULATION : Attendance in 5 different voices.
10- STAMINA : Tolerating teacher for consecutive 1 hour :D
11- PERIPHERAL VISION: Staring at your crush, no matter where so ever he/she sits :D
12- HUMANITY : Failing and keeping the consistency of giving others a chance to top! :D
13- TALENT : Make whole class laugh no matter how tense is the situation.
Source: .facebook.com/JOKEZONE
1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you gettingin Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax
6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
12) Qus.: Are you going Out ofStation for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
17) Qus.: Have you purchasedHouse?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!
19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!
21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
Source:facebook.com/JOKEZONE
Girl calls a boy:
Girl: Hello baby
Boy: Ohh janu bolo
Girl: Kahan ho yar subah se koi ata pata nahi!
Boy: Are hum to khoye hue hain aapki aankhon me..
Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho........??
Boy: tumhari pic dekh raha hun, kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha..
Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi nahi!!
Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai barson se..
Girl: But hum to parson hi mile hain!!
Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal barson hai Pinky....
Girl: Pinky...?? Ye pinky kaun hai ?? main to nisha hu
Boy: Tumse baat karke mai to sab bhul jata hun..
Girl: Tum prashant ho na....??
Boy: Gharwale to satya bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain tum nahi..
Girl: Ye 998XXXXXX hai na....??
Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab se yehi hai…=D :P :D :P
Source:facebook.com/JOKEZONE
Bill gates earns 250 US $ every second, that's about 20million a day and 7.8 billion a year!
If he drops a thousand dollar(almost 50,000 Rs), he won't even bother to pick it up because the 4 seconds he picks it,he would've already earned it back.
The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion,if bill gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10years.
He can donate 15 US$ to everyone on earth but still be left with 5million US$ for his pocket money.
Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. if he doesn't drink and eat,and keep his annual income i.e. 30 million US $ he will have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as bill gates is now.
If Bill gates was a country on earth he would be the 37th richest country on earth
If you change all of bill gate's money to 1 US $ notes, you can make a road from earth to moon,14 times back and forth. but you have to make that road non stop for 1400 years,and use a total of 713 Boeing 747 planes to transport all the money.
last but not the least:
If Microsoft windows users can claim 1 US$ for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft windows, bill gates will be bankrupt in 3 days
Source: facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=430767156995441
1. Principal To Student..."I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ?"
2. Class Teacher Once Said :"Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."
4."..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said"Why Is Fan Not Oning"(IngForm Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
8."Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This"Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"
10."Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,"IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us..."My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry
My Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father
14."Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.."I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand??
16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.."Keep Quiet,The Principal Has Passed Away"
17. Once Teacher Told"If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"
18. Teacher To Students:don't Spit Outside, The Understanding People Will Suffer
19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl
.
this post is only for fun, not to hurt anyone.
Source:facebook.com/harshal1458
*My name is bond, covalnt bond..
*Rishtey m hum 2mhare allotrope lagte h, naam h diamond..
*p-block se dr ni lagta sahab, d-block se lagta h.
*1 bar jo maine bond toda usk bad to m activatin enrgy ki b ni sunta..
*Resonance ko neglct krna mushkil hi ni namumkin h..
*Ye electron mujhe dede carbon...
*1 chutki oxygen ki kimat tum kyA jano hydrogn babu..
& last but nt d least
Thermodynamics abi baki hai mere dost
Source:facebook
It’s half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on…
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing…
And who’s at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look…
All or most specimens are ?? Something male species of the human race…
Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors…
And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses??? Let’s ask one of them…
Here’s what he says… ‘What’s there 2 do after going home…Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late…Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!’
This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors ‘Passing-Time’ during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they’ve nothing else to do…
Now what r the consequences…
‘Working’ (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those ‘working’ late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he’s a hard worker….. goes home only to change..!!).
They aren’t helping things too…
To hell with bosses who don’t understand the difference between ‘sitting’ late and ‘working’ late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family… office is no longer a priority, family is… and That’s when the problem starts… b’coz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier ‘hardworking’ guy suddenly seems to become a ‘early leaver’ even if u leave an hour after regular time… after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers…
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays… though) leave on time are labeled as ‘not up to it’.
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on ‘working’ not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.
So what’s the moral of the story??
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time ‘ unless really needed ‘
* Don’t stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music…..
Learn a foreign language…
Try a sport… TT, cricket………..
Importantly,get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town…
* And for heaven’s sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *’Life’s calling, where are you??’*
IT’S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.
PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON’T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !
Regards,
NARAYAN MURTHY.
Source: facebook
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks,
"What do they do there?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.
He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.
He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work
Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former government servant
So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen..!" :P :D
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates 4 his sister.
He sacrifices his dreams 4 just a smile on his parents face.
He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves just 2 see her smiling
He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @ night without any complain.
He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4 lifetime.
He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss.
His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.
His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.
Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U.
BECHARA MARD...!?
Agar aurat par hath uthaye to BESHARAM,
Aurat se maar khae to BUZDIL,
Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kre to JEALOUS,
Chup rahe to DARPOK,
ghar se bahar rahe to AAWARA,
ghar me rahe to NAAKARA,
bachho ko dante to ZALIM,
na dante to LAPARWAH,
Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to SHAK KARNE WALA,
na rokey to BIWI ki kamai KHANE WALA,
Maa ki mane to CHAMCHA,
Biwi ki sune to Joru ka GULAM...
Na Jane Kab Aayega,
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
Using ur brain is strictly prohibited.
1) Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,
Traffic Jaam me attak gayi Bike,
��Chalo sab khele Counter-Strike .
2) Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??
Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak ??
Cameraman Prafful ke saath Deepak Chaurasia AAJ TAK..��
3) ��Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo..
Mehgai k iss daur me karna padta hai apne kharche par kaboo..
Ek chutki Sindoor ki kimmat tum kya jaano RameshBabu ??
4) Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha...
Main hu Yaha Tu hai waha..
LIFEBUOY hai jaha Tandurusti hai waha...��
5) Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna...
Blood Donate karne se pehle humesha uska Group janchna...
BASANTI in kutto k samne kabhi mat nachna....
6) ��Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..��
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
Itni Shakti hume dena DATA..
7) Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
Ab to Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana.
A for Apple B for Banana.��
8) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life JhingaLala ..!!��
9) Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach..��
Romio ne Juliet se kaha Ek Sach..
Asali masale sach sach MDH.....MDH ...!
10) 1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss..
1 Ladki ne kiya Ladke k Gaal pe Kiss..
��Mutual Funds are subjected to Market Risks..
11) Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana...
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Purana...
��Didi Tera Devar Deewana ..
12) �� Gym karna jaruri hai Acche Swasthya k liye...
Gym karna jaruri hai Acche swasthya k liye...
Munni badnam hui Darling tere liye...
13) Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa Dus Rupey ka Do,
Paanch Rupey ka Ek Samosa Dus Rupey ka Do.
ACP ne kaha"DAYA darwaza tod do.
14) ��Darr se daro nahi, just fight it....
��Darr se daro nahi, just fight it....
Hi I m Rajnikant, Mind it..!!
Source: facebook.com/harshal1458
Shakespeare.
"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others Because U May Win The
Game But The Risk Is That U Will Surely Lose The Person For A Life
Time".
Napoleon.
"The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad
people, But because of the silence of good people!"
Einstein.
"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me It's because of
them I did it myself."
Abraham Lincoln.
"If friendship is ur weakest point then U are the strongest person
in the world."
Shakespeare.
"Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow!
But It Means That They Have The Ability To Deal With It".
William Arthur.
"Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, If You Wait Too Long You Can Miss
Them".
Hitler.
"When You Are In The Light, Everything Follows You, But When
You Enter Into The Dark, Even Your Own Shadow Doesn't Follow
You."
Shakespeare.
"Coin Always Makes Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always
Silent. So When Your Value Increases Stay Quiet.
Source: facebook.com/harshal145
1. Always order soup 1 by 2 (invented in India). That way you get more if you had ordered 1 soup with an extra bowl.
2. When ordering sugar cane juice, first insist on no ice cubes .
However after the first few sips, ask for the ice cubes with a straight face.
3. Ask for extra puri when you are just finishing your bhel or sev-puri.
It is absolutely ok !
4. Ask for pani after finishing Gol-gappa. It is good for health.
5. Sample all the ice cream flavours free at Natural Ice Cream and then order Sitaphal.
6. When buying peanuts or groundnuts or Chana-Chor-Garam it is ok to keep on munching freebies from the display area till the time your order is getting packed.It is your birthright !
7. At most Mughlai restaurants you can make a small meal with the free Papad,peanuts, onions, pickles and chutney so you can skip the starters.
8. It is absolutely ok to pocket the free toothpicks, mint packets and fennel seeds served at restaurants - to be used later while walking down to catch the cab, rickshaw, bus, train or car.
9. Do not tip more than 2 % of your total bill, however excellent the services.
Anything more than that will result in heart failure of the poor waiter.
Also we don't want you guys to spoil him as we have to live with them after you guys leave.
10. Lastly do not forget to give 'MISSED CALL
(a concept invented by the Indians)
Source: facebook.com/harshal145
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